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get onto ffffound.com

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-r

people should keep their holidays, and their accompanying travel photos, to themselves

I love seeing people's travel photos of pointless shit (harbours, cars, boats, planes ect.) on facebook. Even better are their friends who gleefully "like" them, and post even more pointless comments like "wow, it looks like you are having a sweet time" - when in fact all they are looking at is a bunch of random cars on a foreign motorway.

above is a mildy amusing exception to what should be a general rule:

sheets are not just for making beds and togas.

Imagine if the new popular fashion trend, instead of skinny jeans, wide cut shirts and bohemian, 70's leather bracelets - were sheets.

Hear me out.

To start off with, there would only be one or two people doing it, wearing nothing but underwear and a sheet (with neck and arm holes, of course). People would mock them and say "there goes that bitch who wears the sheet, wtf why would she wear that?" or "hey PILLOWTALK" or, if you study at Bond University, "Hey, are you poor? Like, really poor? Why are you wearing a sheet?"

Then, before you know it, a few more people start wearing sheets. They have their own facebook group ("grr") of which they become fans, have sheet wearing parties, start tye-dying their sheets ect. And then it really becomes popular because a celebrity or two starts to wear their Louis Vuitton bed sheets in their new music videos

Then it starts getting really out of hand.

Fashion labels start releasing their own line of "day sheets" and "night sheets". There are coloured, tye-dyed, acid washed, low cut, skinny, loose fit (basic style) and two toned sheets. Sheets are released in flag colours, colours of popular sporting teams, national flag sheets to wear on national holidays. General Pants releases a range of sheets - and instead of "Scene" kids (who are all different, yet the same) populating affluent restaurants and The Ruby Tramp in their decadent bowler hats and hi-cut jeans shorts - the "Sheet" kids would be the focus of every clothing label, advertising agency and news feed known to man.

If you didn't already realise, this is my take on fashion. I love it, I'd love to have a whole bunch of money to buy nice clothes and get my swagger on. But unfortunately I dont. And so I sit away at my little laptop, tap tap tapping away on my keyboard, dreaming of a day when I can pull up in my Audi Sheet Elegance in my Designer Armani Sheet and wave at the lovely young girls walking across the zebra crossing. Donned in the newest bedware trend, "Pillowcases", they will glance and flash an exasperated frown - not because I am driving such a nice automobile or wearing such a nice shuit (sheet suit) - but because I am wearing outdated, ugly clothing of seasons past. It would not surprise me, if I had one, for my daughter to duck down in the front seat, ashamed of her fashionably-retarded father.

At least, for once, the boys in the Middle East would be happy.

richard dawkins is like, woah.

did anyone watch richard dawkins on Q and A on monday night (8/3/10)?



If you didn't, then you are either a.) kicking back watching the footy with your VB singlet and VB cap, on your embroided VB couch, whilst your baby girl Victoria wearing her VB hat and VB snuggie blanket is looking up at you while you swear and scream at your VB label coated "teevaaee" (say VB really, really slowly like a bogan and substitute the letters for TV) while kicking your loyal dog Bitter, b.) doing a number of other important things, such as masturbating, having sex, thinking about having sex, university study (what i should be doing), reading books or drinking VB.

I digress.

Anyway, the panel on this weeks show, in addition to Dawkins, consisted of a female Rabbi from an Eastern-Suburbs progressive synagogue (wow, isn't that a mouthful), 2010 Australian of the Year (he just talked a lot about mental health - not that this isnt important, but he didnt really seem to expel any knowledge of or concerning any other topics) and a number of Australian politicans who were all from the camp of the religious right. After listening to all of their responses, one thing remained, at least in my mind, clear:

Religion is a lot like a stagnant book club for people with alzehimers. Week after week, or for those acute sufferers with beards in the front row of the Q and A audience, 5 times a day, the people in the book club re-read and frequent the same moral messages, stories, tales and passages without ever truly gaining any further understanding. They dont learn or progress, they merely recite and repeat for all eternity. Social Progression? Who needs it when you have a 'Book'?

Like all of the politicians on the panel, each member of this huge and obviously retarded (people with alzehimers aren't retarded, people who believe in religion are) book club are seriously disillusioned. They all quabble amongst one another, as large numbers of the book club form their own factions - being fans of different books - whilst failing to understand that they are ALL THE SAME BOOKS, simply authored by different people at different periods of time (see the Zeitgiest video series on YouTube). Yet they all agree on similar, absurd statements, such as: "You cant have morals or morality without religion - we'd all go mad!"

Enters Dawkins with his double-edged Parker pen staff of reason slash doom, and like Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings he quashes all absurd arguments with emphatic and reasoned quips: "YOUR STATEMENT SHALL NOT PASS". The book club members seem dumbfounded - who is this man with this posh accent and book deals and millions of dollars and style and bravado? He certainly couldn't be in our book club - not with that suit.

He pokes large, staff sized holes in the belief of the retarded book club members, who, when met with resistance or countering ideas, merely mumble the same passages or messages they have been indoctrinated with since birth. What the members of the book club do not realize is that in the mean time, Dawkins has cured cancer, eliminated world poverty, reversed the effects of climate change (im a sceptic, you'll here more from me in the future) and destroyed all of the club's books.

In plain view of the panel, the members of the Q and A audience, Tony (Q and A's educated and unbelievably neutral adjudicator) and the greater, educated Australian public NOT drinking VB, Dawkins pulls out his fine Ivory pipe, places the remnants of the few tattered, over-translated, misinterpreted and societal-tearing texts that he has demolished with his bitch-ass staff into the hole, pulls out his Lighter of Reason and takes a good, hard, long draw. Victory is always sweeter than fine, fertile Virginian Tobacco for Richard Dawkins, especially when the Bible is the flavour of the month.


This post probably doesnt make sense, its only my first proper submission to my blog site. I assure you that with time they will get better. Just wanted to say that Dawkins is the man, religion seems to be the cause of all our problems, and Q and A is the second best show on television, bettered only by Hillsong at 5am - because true situational comedies that are funny are rare these days.

why 'Queens Get The Money' is the greatest song to introduce a rap album

I recently came to listen to the intro track 'Queens Get The Money' from Nas' most recent album An Untitled Album. The relatively simple, piano-lined 2:11 track, showcases the ability of arguably the greatest NY rapper since the Notorious B.I.G, through the deliverance of substantial, image-rich lines over an eerie ghetto baseline. Even in the first 30 seconds of the track, the listener is quickly familiarized with what hip-hop music used to be all about: ballads which touch souls and inspire communities. Layered with sharp music samples and a rough, pounding bass sure to wake the neighbors, each track on the 2008 album is sure to school even the most skeptical audience. get Untitled.